When It Was Me
by NeverGoesToSleep
Summary: Pretty much one-sided DxC with a ton of implied DxG, but really anyone could go for reading it. It's a songfic written to "When It Was Me" by Paula DeAnda. Courtney's POV.


***Alright guys, so this is sort of my peace offering to the whole shipping thing. I was originally going to do a full DxC piece, but it turns out DxC stories and I don't mix well, so this is what I came up with. It's a songfic written to the song "When It Was Me" by Paula DeAnda (So I don't own it!) But anyways, I would recommend the song. It's kind of R&B, but the music and everything is beautiful. Also, there's some mild Gwen bashing from Courtney, THESE ARE NOT MY VIEWS! I was trying to look at it from Courtney's perspective. Anyways, sorry this is so long, Enjoy!***

_She's got green eyes and she's 5'5",_  
_Long brown hair all down her back_

She's beautiful, okay? I'm not denying it. Deep emerald eyes, tall and well built, with a thick bob of shiny black and teal hair.

_Cadillac truck,_  
_So the hell what,_  
_What's so special about that?_

Her mom bought her a Cadillac for her sweet sixteen. What's so amazing about _that_? _I_ got a Bentley, you know. So you see, it's nothing special.

_She used to model, she's done some acting,_  
_So she weighs a buck 'o 5_  
_And I guess that she's alright if perfection is what you like_

She got to model for DJ's tiebreaker in Paris instead of me, and she's acted before I bet. She's a tiny little thing, too. I guess she's alright, if all you're really looking for is perfection.

_Ooh, ooh, and I'm not jealous, no I'm not,_  
_Ooh, ooh, I just want everything she's got._  
_Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed,_  
_I remember way back when you used to look at me that way._

Let's get something straight: _I'm not jealous_, I just...really want basically everything she has. After all, she still has you. I see the way you look at her. You look at her like she's the most amazing thing you've ever seen, as if she's a celebrity, or a queen. You used to look at me like that.

_Tell me what makes her so much better than me? (so much better than me)_  
_What makes her just everything I can never be?_  
_What makes her your every dream and fantasy?_  
_Because I can remember when it was me._

I just want to know, what makes her so different from me? Why she suddenly better than I am? I sort of get it; she's everything I'm not, right? But why is _she_ all you think about? Yeah, that's right, I know you thought about her after she left all the time, the look on your face gave it away. You know how I know that look so well? Because you would have that same look on your face whenever you smiled at me. _Me_.

_And now you don't feel the same._  
_I remember you would shiver everytime I said your name._  
_You said nothing felt as good as when you gaze into my eyes,_

Now, it's different, though. You don't feel that way anymore, but I remember when you did. I would watch you when I said your name, and you would shake for a moment, as if you just got a chill. And I remember staring into those eyes, those sparkling teal eyes of yours. You would always tell me that staring into my onyx ones was the best feeling in the world. Did you forget about that?

_Now you don't care I'm alive._  
_How did we let the fire die?_

Hey, hey Duncan? I'm over here, and I'm still breathing, not that you care. Oh, we used to have a thing for a each other, a burning passion even! How did that burning passion turn into a doused wildfire?

_Ooh, ooh, and I'm not jealous, no I'm not,_

_Ooh, ooh, I just want everything she's got,_

_Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed._

_I remember way back when, you used to look at me that way_

I'm not jealous of Gwen, I'm above jealousy. But I will admit that I wouldn't mind being in her shoes for a day, even if they were ruddy, black, leather pieces of crap. I just want what she has so bad, it gives me heartache. The way you look at her kills me, because I close my eyes, and I can see you giving the same look to me. But why doesn't it seem as happy and lively in my memories as it does when you look at her? _Why_?

_What makes her so much better than me? (so much better than me)_  
_What makes her just everything I can never be?_  
_What makes her your every dream and fantasy?_  
_Because I can remember when it was me._

I just need to know: _Why is she better than me_? Because I can never be a sarcastic, pale, horror movie buff? I just don't get why you think about her and not me! Because that's not how it used to be, I know it. I remember it. _I loved it_.

_That made you smile, (me)_

I'd boss you around or yell at you about something or other, and you would just smirk. You wouldn't fire back at me, you wouldn't trash me with insults, you'd just sit and smirk. That smirk, oh it was infuriating, but I would give anything in the world to see it right now.

_That made you laugh, (me)_

You wouldn't always smirk, sometimes you'd laugh. The thing is, you'd never do that when other people bossed you around like I did. Just me.

_Me that made you happier than you have ever been, oh me,_  
_That was your world, (me)_

Remember the first time we kissed in the boathouse, and the campfire ceremony after that? I saw the grin on your face, and it was huge. I'd never seen you smile bigger than you did that night, and it-and _I_ rocked your world. Well, I've seen you smile bigger than that now, when Cody started talking about Gwen.

_Your perfect girl._  
_Nothing about me has changed,_  
_That's why I'm here wondering,_

I was everything to you, I was your perfect princess. Well, guess what, I haven't changed! Maybe that's why I'm sitting here alone right now, I just can't help but wonder.

_What makes her so much better than me? (what makes her so much better than me)_  
_What makes her just everything I can never be?_  
_What makes her your every dream and fantasy?_  
_Because I can remember when it was me._

What the heck does she have that I don't have? I probably have even more than her, yet she's still the one you want! _Why_? Because I used to be that girl, the one you wanted.

_What makes her so much better than me? (what makes her so much better than me)_  
_What makes her just everything I can never be?_  
_What makes her your every dream and fantasy?_  
_Because I can remember when it was me._

I'm better than her, I'm better and I know it! I just wish you knew. I wish you knew that she's no better than I am. I wish that you would also remember.  
_When it was me_  
_When it was me_  
_When it was me..._

When I was that girl...

***So? Thoughts? Yeah, I'd love to know them xD The best way for me to know your thoughts on this piece is to review, so could you do that for me, please and thank you? xD***


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